Monday, August 2, 2010

"Greenest Games Ever!", says Kalmadi (FAKE)


With allegations of large scale corruption doing rounds in the media, CWG organizer Suresh Kalmadi convened a press conference to clarify. Speaking to the reporters in New Delhi, Mr. Kalmadi said that he is deeply saddened by the allegations even when the work was being done on par with the international standards. 

When asked the reason why even toilet paper was purchased at Rs.16999.00 per roll, Mr. Kalmadi said that the paper was of highest quality and is reusable. "CWG is conscious about the environment. Paper is made by cutting down trees and we can't afford to waste such a precious resource. This will be the greenest games ever.", said a confident Kalmadi.

Meanwhile, Delhi Chief Minister Shiela Dixit welcomed Kalmadi's views. "I appreciate Mr.Kalmadi's concern for a greener Delhi and a greener India. We have passed a resolution to reuse the paper in our Delhi assembly's dining halls and toilets." said the Delhi CM.

However, Kalmadi didn't find many takers of his views from the main opposition BJP. "Shiela Dixit and Suresh Kalmadi are misleading the nation by covering up the corruption. I would like to question if the suppliers of the paper are Congress party's son-in-laws", said a visibly infuriated BJP president Nitin Gadkari.

Kalmadi's decision has triggered protests all across the country. In Mumbai, activists of the right wing extremist party MNS were seen throwing used toilet paper all across the streets. The Bajrang Dal and Shiv Sena have called for a nation wide bandh of all public toilets to protest the decision. "We can't accept this. Using toilet paper is against the Hindu culture. We traditionally clean our a**** with water.", said Bal Thackarey, in his party's mouthpiece 'Saamna'.

The All India Khap Panchayats association too convened an urgent meeting to review the developments. "We are closely monitoring the developments. We will strongly oppose any move that is against the Indian culture and tradition. If required, we'll order some honor killings.", said a press release by the Khaps association before the meeting.